Okay, it's an hour and a half to the Christmas Ball. I'm getting ready to go out. For a T-Girl or for any woman for that matter, getting ready is half the fun and also fraught with indecisions. What do I wear, what style of makeup, what perfume, which nail polish, which shoes? I've been going to the faculty Christmas Ball for 6 years now...as a woman. You'd think I'd be getting things right by now. Then there's all the chat on FB about what we're all wearing. Plans change, I can never make up my mind. Starting out my transition it was trousers and a glittery top, I felt underdressed. These days it's a dress, usually a new one each year (any excuse). But I still wonder as I always will from time to time, do others see me as a guy in a dress. If I thought that seriously or too deeply for too long, I would probably never have the courage to go.
So here I am, sparkly dress, nipped in waist, I can hardly breathe let alone eat, nervous, idiotically nervous. I've taken my makeup off and done it over again. I'm in heels that I'll have to dance in. (T-Girl practising dance moves in the mirror), why am I doing this? I suppose the answer is that like any girl I just want to look adorable. I'm aware that from long experience that if I make mistakes with my makeup and go over the top, I could look like a drag act - so been there and done that, cringe at the memory...I've learned that if I do smoky eyes I need to keep my lips nude with just gloss. I've learned that false lashes can just look OTT on me but I wish that my hopelessly straight lashes would curl more. I know that red lip colour gives me the same OTT look. You probably all go through the same agonies. Somehow I've got to ensure that I actually have a good time too!
Whatever I've achieved I will have to stick with because it's nearly time to go? Here goes nothing..
Far better to go and be worried rather not be worried by staying in. I am sure you will look great - especially wearing that dress. Looks lovely.
ReplyDeleteBecca
Invited to many a fancy ball but refused to play a male role. So jealous...
ReplyDeleteIt was a truly fantastic night, and early morning! It's now half past one on Saturday morning. Exhausted after dancing but really happy. It was nice to have lovely compliments on how I looked, particularly from the guys, you can really value their comments even more than those from other women friends. Thanks Becca & Caroline for the positive comments. I needn't have been scared. It's evenings like this that make me glad I began my transition.
ReplyDeleteRobyn-Jane
xx