Friday, July 29, 2011

Outlaw with the ex-in Laws

Everyday life as a woman has gotten so blissfully non eventful (as it should be) that maybe I ought to be reminded of the past now and then. So I will be.  I'm dreading tomorrow, as is my daughter.  The reason?  Meeting the ex-in laws (for me), a rendezvous with her one of her Aunts and Uncles and my ex's Mom (for her).  Her Uncle seems deeply homophobic and transphobic and famously wouldn't admit me into his house years ago to pick up my daughter on a visit to see her cousins.  I had to wait outside in my car on a cold winter's night! My daughter dislikes him and does not get on well at all.  She misses her Aunt and Grandma though.

I don't normally get involved in any of this.  I haven't seen any of these people for some years though my daughter has many times.  Under UK law my marriage was annulled after I became female and although I remain on very good terms with my ex I never really see her family these days.  I have however always encouraged my daughter to keep in touch, there is no reason why she should suffer even if these people dislike me.

These ex-in laws don't live anywhere near here and are up in the area visiting.  In a bizarre twist however they will be turning up on my father's doorstep in a neighboring county tomorrow (beginning to sound like an implausibly scripted soap opera isn't it?).  This is because our mythical implausible scriptwriter chose to have my father and my ex's mother keep in regular contact (are they the only ones to be glad to see each other tomorrow?)  If my daughter decides that she would like to see her Grandma, Aunt & Uncle (she's sleeping on it), I will have to drive her over to the Isle of Angelsey.  This will place me in my father's home with the misogynistic and transphobic Uncle (arghhh!)

For some idiotic reason I fear this man more than anybody (this from a Teaching Assistant who has worked daily with foul mouthed 16 to 17 year olds since the start of her transition).  I have witnessed the hurtful and unkind things he says to his wife in previous years and I really dread meeting him again. I  mean, he actually loves his wife, what hope do I have?  All today I have been rehearsing what I might say if I am put in an awkward position on the verge of tears.  I have even found myself talking aloud (mad woman) while going out for the groceries.  On a more positive note I'm having my hair styled tomorrow morning so at least I get the chance to face up to him while I'm feeling good about myself!

Writing this blog has been by way of working through my fears.  By tomorrow you'll maybe find out how it went, or not!  Wish me luck!

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