Today was a get-together of myself and youngest daughter plus my Ex and some of her family. For some reason which I was barely able to explain adequately in yesterday's blog, this took place at my Dad's house. It included a man (my daughter's Uncle) who seems to have taken a total dislike to me because of my trans status. I spoke about him yesterday in my blog as
"homophobic and transphobic and famously wouldn't admit me into his house years ago to pick up my daughter on a visit to see her cousins".
I've never seen him nor his family since until today.
|This is where it all happened!|
My daughter had desperately wanted to be there as her Grandmother was visiting. In total there were were 8 of us crammed into my father's cottage kitchen. I had felt so tense all day until the afternoon when they arrived. I suppose that I had expected unkind comments but what happened was probably worse.
To all my own friends, work colleagues and virtually everyone else I know, I am either seen (reassuringly) as my daughter's Mom or (if they know of my Ex) one of her two Moms. Here, for the best part of three hours I became nobody's nothing. Whilst everyone exchanged pleasantries with one another I was treated as if I didn't exist. In the family group, people addressed my father and my daughter but it was as though the chair I occupied was empty. Any comment I made went uncommented on and when at the end of the day my daughter was coerced into going off to meet a cousin who had no real interest in seeing her I was left wondering why I hadn't seen any of this coming. I was sure that the cue to shut me out had come from my daughter's Uncle but why would anyone want to spend 3 hours of a lovely sunny afternoon doing this? I feel that life is too short to fathom out that one.
The grandmother who my daughter had so looked forward to chatting to (but got no chance) remained with me to take tea and sit outside in the warm Welsh sunshine. I found myself inexplicably being asked about what it meant to be trans and trying to explain why it was that years ago I got married to my best friend who also happened to be her daughter (why has this never cropped up before?).
I'm sitting in bed now, tearfully wondering how on earth all this happened, feeling very drained and very much looking forward to it never happening again!