Saturday, June 4, 2011

Songwriting Mom

How do you balance being a Mom with being a part time singer-songwriter?  Especially when the other part time bit is a full time job.  Being a Mom is a full time job too and when you're still trying to put together your first CD years after writing its first song, it can seem desperate.  There is room for a lot of despair, for regretting that 'there is no ME time' and going to bed very late because you are keeping yourself awake writing or arranging.
My beloved Precision Bass
My own Mom back in '64
My own Mom spent many years writing three excellent novels and one well turned short story.  They were never published but they brought much pleasure to the many people who got to read them.  Mom got a great deal of satisfaction from hearing why people liked her stories and seeing the expressions on their faces as they dwelt on the passages they particularly enjoyed.  They were her audience, and in a small way she changed and influenced the way that they and others they knew thought.

My Dad brought home a new six string guitar when I was nine.  He intended to learn to play himself but never did.  I did instead.  For a while I wrote naive teenage songs, and some slightly better love songs.  People were patient enough to listen to me play in small clubs, pubs and venues in the rust belt town where I grew up.  I was a frustrated girl in a boring old town who dreamed of one day being a folk rock princess and playing big stages.  It never really happened, and maybe its a good thing it never did.

Now I have two girls of my own, one a trainee proffessional dancer and one an aspiring country music singer.  Bringing them up has been my life, at least so far.  Lately I've come to realise that they themselves have given me feelings and experiences which are now finding their way into a whole new set of songs.  Instead of resenting the time my family takes, I've come to realise that they ARE my muse and my songs.  So are the many people over the years who have either thrown hate at me for being transgender or shown me kindness.  Like a tapestry, you were all woven into my songs.

If I can ever overcome my indecision about arranging them and mixing them, they will appear here for you to listen to.  Until then, I have my family and a life.

1 comment:

  1. i really like your blog i hope you mange to get you CD done. it must be difficult been a songwriting mom your blog has given me a good incite on where people like you are coming from