Friday, February 22, 2013

Turning Points and Being Loved

Turning points; those pivotal moments when things tend to swing back the other way, when the chaos resolves a little and you begin to discern something new different and positive emerging. I was reminded of one of those moments today. Was it THE moment? I'm not sure, but it was certainly a Turning Point.

For so many years I couldn't accept myself. It nearly destroyed me; being Trans was an affliction. My attitude began to change when a lesbian friend told me how cool she thought I was. It was a breakthrough moment, years ago now. I'd never thought of myself in any positive way before, only as a freak and an anomaly. My friend changed all that and made me take a new look at myself and feel proud. In some ways I owe so much of my confidence about being me and being out there to her. Ironically, I love guys, but lovers and admirers have generally just served to pull me down with their blend of thrill searching and curiosity. I hate the way Trans people become objectified as some sort of exotic sexual experience to be tried. Loving and being loved in return is what we all want and need. Is that too much to ask? I very much hope not :)

Hugs, Jane xox

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