Tuesday, June 2, 2015
Maids in Waiting
This is a defining moment for me; my 100th post. I'm now a very different person to the shy, diffident girl who penned her first blogging effort back in 2011. My eighth post was entitled 'Wedding Belle Blues'. In that piece I mused about relationships and what the future might hold. Now I'm planning my wedding! Being Trans that is one very special journey for me but how different is it to anyone else?
Since transition I've found myself increasingly aware that most of us Brides have so much in common. I look around me and find that suddenly, everyone seems to be newly married or a Bride to be. From being Gender Dysphoric, I'm now Euphoric. I love being me, I'm happy, I have friends, a job, a social life, a family, a 'husband to be' and now.....
I have bridesmaids....
Such an iconic photo! I totally love that film. The photo: totes amazeballs, I must get one taken of me and my maids like that. Here, hold the camera, stand over there, hang on a minute, we won't be a sec....just a few little probs to smooth out....
Choosing an MoH and Maids is:
PROBLEM No. 1. There are all manner of articles about this onlin, including algorithms and decision trees (for the project management minded) and good old fashioned Mumsy advice for more spontaneous Bride.
I started off with two maids. Talking to other brides and friends at work, it seems that's how it usually begins. Having two bridesmaids keeps things nice and simple: There are only two dresses to buy, two posies to arrange for, two sets of accessories and presents. Apparently it hardly ever stays that way.
It hasn't. First there is J a colleague at work; confidential, wonderfully supportive, recently married and full of good advice and good ideas. She wouldn't be my MoH on the day but was happy to do everything else. This lead to me asking: G: a best friend from school, I sang with her, she's very organised, a Girl Guide leader and now my MoH. Only one maid in a dress on the day? That won't do, which lead me to ask: K a co-worker and total girl like me. She is LGBT savvy, very petite and a great friend.
Still, on reflection, 2 barely seemed enough which lead to me asking S. She is a fab, fun loving friend with a smile that can light up a whole room, she lives 2 hours away in the Midlands, she's always wanted to be a bridesmaid. Now I'm begining to wonder whether 3 maids on the day isn't a little lop sided...wouldn't it be better to ask another,( J, my longtime hair stylist and friend) to join us and make it an even 4? OMG what am I getting myself into!
Those of you who've been involved in weddings before will know that bridesmaids come in ALL shapes and sizes from petite and pint sized to curvy and womanly. So...
PROBLEM No. 2 is finding a dress to suit everyone. That's where I am now. I had visions of everyone in floor length strapless chiffon gowns but there's no way THAT's going to happen! My choice of navy blue has gone down very well. It's flattering for most people and not so bridesmaidy that you can't wear it again afterwards. We've settled on Tea length for now....I think (hence the picture above). There is some uneasiness amongst some about bare arms....but I'm hoping for the best. The last thing I want is anyone feeling uncomfortable or wearing a dress they hate. So now to get the dresses bought. That brings me to....
PROBLEM No. 3: My maids are scattered all over the UK...Yorkshire, Worcestershire, Anglesey, Denbighshire, Conwy...Convinced it would be impossible to get everyone together to go shopping ANY time soon, I've gone down the road of ordering 'prêt-à-porter' from a major supplier and having them delivered to try on. Problems abound: We all, (myself included) consider ourselves a size smaller than we really are, especially when it comes to weddings. Sending items back and re-odering new sizes becomes hideously complicated when one person pays but another takes delivery (wedding suppliers...GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER!) We're in the process of doing all of this now. I'll let you know when we're done!
You're okay standing there holding that camera aren't you? You might be waiting a little while!
(the soon to be Mrs Jane Williams)