Saturday, August 18, 2012

Zip fasteners, bracelets, swim suits and a new appointment

It's been a while since I blogged. I've had an easy time of songwriting and catching up, kicking back a little and relaxing. It's been Pride season with lots of events on. It's also been High Summer here on the Welsh Coast in the UK which means that it rains a lot but it's also so incredibly warm. The Palm trees on the Promenade look a little more in place and I wear light summer tops and skirts as well as dresses. I'm slim, or more to the point I really lack those full Girly curves! That means I choose fitted dresses that cling close on top and flare out from my waist which miraculously now is so much higher than it used to be (thank goodness for Evorel!) having long back zippers on dresses means being a contortionist as you try close it. If I'm on my own, I do it with very great difficulty.

I'm a romantic (my mates (both straight & lesbian) think should have grown out of it by now! But I can't help wanting to have a guy in my life to zip up my dress for me, fasten all those bracelets and give compliments when I look nice. I miss having some guy's tie to tie. It would be handy too to have someone to open jars and someone taller than my 5' 6" to reach down things from those ridiculously high shelves in my fitted kitchen (why do they do them like that?). A moments thought though and I'm back in the real world. My experience of men so far in 7 years of being a woman is that they're more likely to want to pull your dress zip down rather than up and mess up your hair kissing you when you've spent ages on it rather than pass nice compliments. Joking aside, I'm also painfully and sadly aware that I've still not fully completed my transition and I would be a real surprise to any guy who really wanted to get into my panties, let alone pulling down my dress zips.

So that brings me to swimming cozzies. I used to love going swimming, well the pool part anyway. I still do, but now it's fraught with difficulty and I tend to shy away from pools, particularly ones with open plan change facilities and no cubicles. I vacationed this year with my youngest at a place with a leisure suite, spa pool, gym etc. It was lovely, except for the women's locker room. It's fine going down with your swimming costume underneath your clothes, not so good when it comes to changing back and hoping the towel you've wrapped around you above your boobs doesn't slip and reveal all while you put dry knickers back on. We used the pool almost everyday. It was really nerve wracking in a week long vacation for me. The best I can say is, I survived, the towel never slipped thank goodness.

Back home off holiday, there was a letter waiting with a London postmark. Yes, I was idiotically excited to finally get me first appointment with the Charing Cross Surgical Team in September. It's a relief to find that WHSCC have finally agreed funding and that I can breathe again. I'm aware though that for those around me like my youngest daughter, it's a rather different story. She has a new reason to worry (as well as A levels, friendships and boyfriends) because I'm moving closer to surgery, I'll be away from home and it's uncharted territory for her. It's uncharted territory for me too, even though I've been looking forward to this moment and gleaning all the information I could from friends who have been there before me. Here goes!


Robyn-Jane xxx



  1. Rear zips have scared me since I first observed my mother and aunts struggle with them so many decades ago. A bit of string could help pull it up but if it is a good fit you may find that you do need a guy to help get you out...

    I gave up public pools long ago which is a shame because it got me to the slimmest and fittest ever. Now that I could go without embarrassment the pool is being demolished and replaced with a leisure centre with tubes!

    Good luck in London, perhaps next year the towel can fall...

  2. Frustratingly my dresses are a good fit, even more so since Evorel has had it's inevitable effect. A Guy would be so handy (sigh). Hormones have also meant I've put on weight and not all in the right places. I desperately need swimming to help me keep fit!

    Thanks so much for your lovely comment. Here's hoping that towel can indeed fall some time soon. :)

  3. Evorel has done some lovely things and one rotten one round my waist!
    Just one more challenge...

  4. Yes, I wouldn't be without Evorel but sadly it comes with that penalty. I'd rather struggle with that any day tho compared to life before I began my transition :) All the best Caroline :)

  5. They may not be expensive but those patches really are a wonder.  I just wish they would bless my bones rather than just my appetite ....

    I think in one of you previous posts you mentioned 7 years.  A criminal amount of time. I am glad that there is finally light at the end of the tunnel. 

    Perhaps when it's all over Mr Right will come to call.  Don't give
    up hope


  6. Patches are a godsend, I'm so glad to have them Becca. Yes it is seven years, far too long. I've lost one boyfriend already but he wasn't Mr Right and I didn't want to share him with his other lady :) One day, I'll meet the real deal, here's hoping. Thanks for your lovely comment. Keep in touch,

    Jane x

  7. I am hoping that the appointment went well and you have a date in the diary - but is that wishful thinking ?

  8. Actually Becca the appointment went incredibly well thanks. Philip Thomas signed my form for surgery and it has now gone in to admissions at Charing X, I took it down myself. I'm waiting for yet another date :) and a pre-op appointment with the surgical team so WOW! I came back from London feeling so so happy and so incredibly relieved!

    Hugs, Robyn Jane x