It's January; pantomime season here in Llandudno, a seaside resort with entertainment permanently on it's mind. The holiday festivities are at an end and work once again beckons. Well, it more than beckons. The first week of January has felt like a month! A friend FB'd this pic of me at one of the Christmas parties this year. I did a double take because it all looked so princessy. It triggered off nice memories, the beginning of a great evening, lots of lovely friends, bucks fizz and champagne, lots of dancing, everybody looking so glamorous. Now we are all back in sensible suits and straight skirts for work, groan.
The Holidays are such a lovely fairy tale time of year, or can be. If all goes right, maybe you can turn your back on work and reality, be yourself, enjoy yourself. Fairy tales used to give me hope as a kid, they were the sort of books I never really got given as presents but always wished for. As a kindergarten teacher I always found myself sharing them with the children in the book corner. I'm probably not alone as a t-girl in having obsessed about the Cinderella story. The idea that someone could come along, wave a magic wand and turn you from someone who everybody despised into a pretty princess was rather appealing. When I was younger and I used to sneakily play dress up it almost seemed like a possible dream. As a child I could easily make myself look like a girl.
By the time you reach adolescence however, beautiful fairytale becomes scary pantomime. You feel that not even the most talented Fairy Godmother could ever make a difference. Becoming any sort of a girl seemed to be as likely as a Halloween pumpkin turning into a beautiful coach. You fetch up abruptly against the realization that no matter how you feel inside, being female would be seen by others as a ridiculous caricature. I didn't just grow out of enjoying watching pantomimes as a child, I grew to hate them. Pantomime dames scared me and made me feel uncomfortable, 'principal boys' who were actually girls bewildered me. Why would any girl want to pretend to be a boy? I wanted to be the Princess! My favourite 'do over wish' was to rewind it all and be born as a girl. I would have given anything to look like I do in the picture above.
Thankfully I can smile at some of all that now and even share it with you. I'm no Princess and I doubt that I would ever have enjoyed being a real one. I do seem to have got my 'do over wish' though in a round about way. I am a woman, even if I had to wait years to get here and I do occasionally get to indulge in fantastic evenings out and wear gorgeous dresses (I draw the line at glass slippers). I haven't been to see a pantomime for some years though now and I don't have any plans to :). I'll settle for the pampering evening we're planning when we all get paid and a girl's evening out at the end of the month.